Stephen Colbert mercilessly mocked President Donald Trump during the opening monologue of The Late Show on Wednesday night, demonstrating how Trump has no time to talk to Special Counsel Robert Mueller.
In January, Trump told reporters that he would testify in the Russia probe while simultaneously denying that he allegedly colluded with Russia during the 2016 Election.
“I am looking forward to it, actually. Here is the story: There has been no collusion whatsoever. There is no obstruction whatsoever. And I am looking forward to it…I would do it under oath. I would do it. I would do it under oath, yeah.”
So far, Trump has not testified nor has he talked to Mueller at all, despite a majority of Americans wanting him to testify under oath.
And Stephen Colbert knows why.
During his show, he conceded that Trump is “one of a kind.”
“No one comes up with dumber ideas. At this point, he’s really his own competition. He’s the Usain Bolt of stupid.”
Trump’s latest dumb move, demanding the Pentagon throw him a military parade, resulted in Colbert asking who got “dictator bingo.”
“Trump’s not mad at Kim Jong-Un so much as he is jealous. Traditionally, America doesn’t do military parades. Normally, if you’re in a city with U.S. tanks rolling down the road, I wouldn’t bring the children.”
Colbert went on to explain that the Founding Fathers did not even want a standing military, much less military parades, which were a “fetish” in Europe. And then he mocked Trump for getting the idea for his military parade from France.
In fact, Trump reportedly wanted tanks and missile launchers as part of his Inauguration Day parade but was turned down by the Pentagon at the time. Colbert said:
“It’s really a shame that they didn’t do the parade at the inaugural because the soldiers could have filled out all those empty stands.”
Basically, Trump is too busy playing dictator to find the time to talk to Mueller.
Colbert then turned to the Russia investigation and encouraged Trump to testify to Mueller. After all, Trump thinks he “can work this” because he has prior experience with testifying:
“…Seeing as how to prior becoming president he was sued in court about 1,300 times.”
Colbert likened it to a person calling themselves a fireworks expert because they’ve “blown off all their fingers.”
Here’s the video via YouTube.